We went back to Texas for 2 weddings but ended up knocked off our feet a little.
Normally when we return to the States for a time we're eager to get back home to Guatemala. Seeing our parents, being in their homes, being able to touch our family, going to CBC, seeing needs and ways we could serve - pulled. Hard.
The reality is that we have been called by the Lord to Guatemala. But He didn't force us to go. We went because He put it in our hearts to go and we live here because we agree with Him that this is where He wants us to be. For now.
I have no idea how many days or years I have before the Lord returns or brings me home. But I know that some of those days are supposed to be here in Guatemala. And I know that Christ is here with me and that wherever He is I can be obedient and fruitful. That may not seem very certain to many of you but I am finding certainty more and more overrated. I have certainty in only a very few things. God loves me. God created me. Christ saved me. The Holy Spirit indwells me. There's more to that list, but most of it folds out from those things.
There's a reason we walk with God. We don't live in a walking culture. At least not in the States. We drive or bike or fly but we only walk to exercise or get through the fair or the mall. We don't walk to travel because we have found a faster way. But when you walk you interact with what's around you. You notice more. Notice people, smells, sounds.
We walked just a little in Texas last week and we noticed we missed a lot of things. We missed our our parents kissing our children. We missed our children being influenced by our parents. Jenny and I have the rare joy of having two sets of amazing people for parents and we miss their presence. We visited (how weird to say that) CBC and we missed fellowship with people whom we love. We missed the sky of West Texas and the people who dwell beneath it. And we were reminded that the Lord does nothing by accident. We are not in Guatemala by a fluke. And that He is much more concerned with who we are than where we are today.
And that's good. Because it ain't easy to stay some days. But it would be almost impossible to leave. How's that for living in the tension? The Lord wants us to be His disciples here for a time and when He wants us to be His children somewhere else, He'll let us know. That's not very certain, I know. But some things sneak up on you like that.
And that's for certain.