Restoration hardware

I hope no one was under the misconception that missionaries didn't need fixing-up every once in awhile. If you were, prepare to rethink that.

The past week or so has been the hardest week of my life. We're preparing to go to Guatemala and there are a lot of details that go along with that. And I'm not a detail guy. I'm a 'big picture' guy which is a nice way of saying I forget the details. I can take care of them but it takes a lot of work on my end. Things don't just get done, they have to be done. I'm not good at details. My wife is, so praise God for her. I'd be in trouble without her. So the past few weeks has been an exercise in needing to be proficient in that which I am deficient; an exhausting experience.

Our son has been sick. He had his first real fever (103.6) and now he has a cold with all the trimmings. Caring for a sick 10 month old is not the best way to complete that days to-do list. Oh, and seeing your baby boy lethargic with fever is simply gut wrenching. I'd rather have the stuffing beat out of me. I have been sick also. Not sick where I am bedridden or anything, heck, I hardly have any symptoms except that I am achy and freakishly tired. Very annoying, actually, because I am just really unprodctive which, at this point, just makes life more difficult.

We took off a few days to spend in Lubbock with Jenny's parents to say goodbye and give them a little grandbaby time before we head out of the country. Her dad, who is paralyzed on the left side due to a stroke, had his leg broken while being transferred into bed. They had to take him off his cornucopia of meds to evaluate him and suffice it to say he's still in the hospital and because Deacon has a cold he can't go up to see Jenny's dad which means her mom gets very little grandbaby time and we don't get to see them much either.

So I've been a little worn out and questioning whether God's amazing answer to our prayer to bring our support in by October was somehow misread. If we delay at all, we delay until January. Now, I know that God is not going to smite us if we wait. The question is do we trust Him? Are we making decisions based in fear or faith? We asked Him to show us when He wanted us to go and now that the time is approaching it's getting really hard.

This morning I got a few minutes and asked the Lord to just reveal Himself to me, to speak to me through His word. And then I read Psalm 80.

1 Hear us, O Shepherd of Israel,
you who lead Joseph like a flock;
you who sit enthroned between the cherubim, shine forth
2 before Ephraim, Benjamin and Manasseh.
Awaken your might;
come and save us.
3 Restore us, O God;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved.

The plea in v. 3 happens 2 more times:

7 Restore us, O God Almighty;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved.


19 Restore us, O LORD God Almighty;
make your face shine upon us,
that we may be saved.

Notice the change? God then God Almighty (God as commander of the armies of heaven) and finally LORD (I AM, God of the armies of heaven). The plea increasingly looks to God as not just some 'god'. It doesn't stop at even the God who commands all the angels in heaven. But LORD, Yahweh, the great I AM, the One who Is, whose name is I AM, HE is who commands the armies of heaven. And what does He do?

He shines his face upon us! He saves us! He is not distant. He is not aloof. He hears our cries. Why? Because He is listening. God, I AM, the creator and sustainer and redeemer of all things is listening to us. And He is no passive listener. He is working and He is with us!

Do I need restoration? YES! Why? Because I am a person, a human, and we are prone to wearing down. Oh, praise the One who hears, who shines, restores and saves. He is worthy and He is with us.


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